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FLORIDA BOUND

Almost to Destin, FL! I have gotten a lot accomplished! I am the passenger which is a rare occasion. I did a take home test, an Nivate module, finished an economics project and spent sometime talking to my mom and dad. Wow, I accomplished more today that normal. Maybe that is because I have been stuck in the car for 10 hours. It doesn’t seem like that though because I have been busy the whole time. Having a computer with internet access is really the way to travel! My IT guy at work hooked me up and got me internet through my job for the week (although he knows that what I am using it for is not for work :) It definately keeps you occupied. How did we make it as kids traveling with nothing but a coloring book and the license game? OMG, it would take forever!!!!!! Now the kids have ipods, iphones, internet, movies, video games…….man what I would have given to have a DVD player in my car when I was growing up. Looking forward to some time on the beach. Not so much the sun….its the sound. The sound of my kids laughing, the sound of the waves, the sound of no one complaining, whining, nagging at me at work. Being back in my second home state makes me happy as well, my toes in the sand makes me happy, being with my family makes me happy and not being on a schedule makes me even happier. Have a good week guys, I will try and drop in for some pictures:)

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I dont know what this Five on Friday thing is but I’m going to try it out.
1. If I have to write one more medication or lab rationale I think my head will explode.
2. I am so very upset that I have to tell everyone in my life NO to everything, including my wonderful husband who wanted to take a summer walk with me tonight and I had to stay inside to read over medications that I am not even allowed to give tomorrow while in ICU.
3. I didn’t think that I would miss my kids this much when I told them they could go to Florida for a week with my daughters dad. I thought I would enjoy the silence. I was wrong. I can not wait to be on the beach with them next Saturday.
4. I am actually glad that I am working while I am in school because at least 4 days a week I get to take my head out of a book. Going to work is like a vacation 8 hours a day. I thank GOD that I have such a wonderful support system there. Makes me wonder why in the hell I want to go and work at a hospital where all the staff are miserable and want to make everyone around them miserable, too. Something to think about.
5. If there is one place in the whole world I would like to be right now…. its sitting on the stairs in mine and my husbands favorite spot in Paris, eating a mozarella, cheese and tomato sandwich on a french bagette and waiting on the Eiffel Tower to light up. Ah, good memories. Vive La France.

I dont know what this Five on Friday thing is but I’m going to try it out.

1. If I have to write one more medication or lab rationale I think my head will explode.

2. I am so very upset that I have to tell everyone in my life NO to everything, including my wonderful husband who wanted to take a summer walk with me tonight and I had to stay inside to read over medications that I am not even allowed to give tomorrow while in ICU.

3. I didn’t think that I would miss my kids this much when I told them they could go to Florida for a week with my daughters dad. I thought I would enjoy the silence. I was wrong. I can not wait to be on the beach with them next Saturday.

4. I am actually glad that I am working while I am in school because at least 4 days a week I get to take my head out of a book. Going to work is like a vacation 8 hours a day. I thank GOD that I have such a wonderful support system there. Makes me wonder why in the hell I want to go and work at a hospital where all the staff are miserable and want to make everyone around them miserable, too. Something to think about.

5. If there is one place in the whole world I would like to be right now…. its sitting on the stairs in mine and my husbands favorite spot in Paris, eating a mozarella, cheese and tomato sandwich on a french bagette and waiting on the Eiffel Tower to light up. Ah, good memories. Vive La France.

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Past my test!

It was a good day. Passed my test, went to the burn unit in ICU, not sure how I feel about the whole situation. I’m afraid to touch the patient, not because it’s gross or all of the insanely intimidating tubes and machines, it’s because I just don’t want to hurt them. I know we are there to help but OMG, how much can one person take. My
Worst fear is being burned and here I am in the BuRN UNiT. Just great. Face your fears, accomplish anything……..

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Studying with a migraine sucks!

Studying with a migraine sucks!

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My hero. The first love of my life. The man who told me I had a voice, that I could do anything and deserved more than any man could offer me. The man who fought for his country, who showed us how to love and how we should be loved by the way he treated my mother. The man who tolerated being dressed up for Halloween, let me and my sister put bows in his hair, and sneaked us donuts behind my moms back. The man who sang to us at night before bed and prayed with us nightly on his knees. The man who saved us from monsters and made up stories to entertain us. A horse for us to ride, a a tree for us to climb on and a set of shoulders to sit on when we could’t see over a crowd.A man who would dance with us  on Sunday mornings while standing on his feet and would tell us how beautiful we were (and still does). A man who worked his fingers to the bone to make sure we had a home, food and security. A man who can fix anything with some duct tape and a hammer and can make you laugh when you feel your worst. A man who doesn’t know a stranger and loves unconditionally. A man who taught us to be respectful, to work hard and to play harder. A man who taught us to find the good in all people and to help those less fortunate than ourselves. A man who have given the same if not more to his 5 grandchildren. I could go on and on about the lessons that I have learned from him but it would be to much to read. His smile can light up a room. My love for him is immeasurable. I can not say that I respect any one on this earth more than my mother and father. I have been more than blessed in my life to have been born into this family. He has helped to mold me into the person that I am today and I am eternally grateful. I’m 35 years old and I know that I could still sit in my daddy’s lap and be his little girl, if only for moment….. My dad is one of my best friends. If you look in life’s dictionary under the word FATHER you would see the name William Roger Leavitt, the one and the only. I love you daddy, more than you will ever know.

My hero. The first love of my life. The man who told me I had a voice, that I could do anything and deserved more than any man could offer me. The man who fought for his country, who showed us how to love and how we should be loved by the way he treated my mother. The man who tolerated being dressed up for Halloween, let me and my sister put bows in his hair, and sneaked us donuts behind my moms back. The man who sang to us at night before bed and prayed with us nightly on his knees. The man who saved us from monsters and made up stories to entertain us. A horse for us to ride, a a tree for us to climb on and a set of shoulders to sit on when we could’t see over a crowd.A man who would dance with us on Sunday mornings while standing on his feet and would tell us how beautiful we were (and still does). A man who worked his fingers to the bone to make sure we had a home, food and security. A man who can fix anything with some duct tape and a hammer and can make you laugh when you feel your worst. A man who doesn’t know a stranger and loves unconditionally. A man who taught us to be respectful, to work hard and to play harder. A man who taught us to find the good in all people and to help those less fortunate than ourselves. A man who have given the same if not more to his 5 grandchildren. I could go on and on about the lessons that I have learned from him but it would be to much to read. His smile can light up a room. My love for him is immeasurable. I can not say that I respect any one on this earth more than my mother and father. I have been more than blessed in my life to have been born into this family. He has helped to mold me into the person that I am today and I am eternally grateful. I’m 35 years old and I know that I could still sit in my daddy’s lap and be his little girl, if only for moment….. My dad is one of my best friends. If you look in life’s dictionary under the word FATHER you would see the name William Roger Leavitt, the one and the only. I love you daddy, more than you will ever know.

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These are my kids. Two peas in a pod. Today they are volunteering to work with the Senior Olympics. My grandmother passed away about 2 years ago but they still visit the residents where she lived the last several years of her life. When grandmother was still living,  every Friday night, my family met at the nursing home and we all had dinner with my grandmother. My mom was there several times a week and the kids would go with her when they could. They became close to many of the residents and after my grandmother died, they were heartbroken to think they wouldn’t be visiting anymore. I told them they could still go as often as they would like. So, they go and play dominos, bingo, dress up in Halloween costumes and assist with their annual Halloween party. They take cupcakes for people’s birthdays and help out with cake walks and such. At Christmas we go and sing Christmas carols and take my grandmothers closest friend little gifts. My kids are some of the most kind hearted, selfless people I know. I’d like to take credit for them being this way but to be honest, they do these things without me. Yesterday I came home and they had made these tie dyed shirts in honor of the senior Olympics team. The nursing home is called Rainbow Health and Rehabilitation Center. Guess they wanted to be the mascots. So proud of them and their BIG hearts.

These are my kids. Two peas in a pod. Today they are volunteering to work with the Senior Olympics. My grandmother passed away about 2 years ago but they still visit the residents where she lived the last several years of her life. When grandmother was still living, every Friday night, my family met at the nursing home and we all had dinner with my grandmother. My mom was there several times a week and the kids would go with her when they could. They became close to many of the residents and after my grandmother died, they were heartbroken to think they wouldn’t be visiting anymore. I told them they could still go as often as they would like. So, they go and play dominos, bingo, dress up in Halloween costumes and assist with their annual Halloween party. They take cupcakes for people’s birthdays and help out with cake walks and such. At Christmas we go and sing Christmas carols and take my grandmothers closest friend little gifts. My kids are some of the most kind hearted, selfless people I know. I’d like to take credit for them being this way but to be honest, they do these things without me. Yesterday I came home and they had made these tie dyed shirts in honor of the senior Olympics team. The nursing home is called Rainbow Health and Rehabilitation Center. Guess they wanted to be the mascots. So proud of them and their BIG hearts.

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School

In 2003, I signed up for nursing school. I was scared and excited and ready for a change. My new husband of one year said I could accomplish anything and I believed him. Now 4 schools and 9 1/2 years later, I’m almost there. I’m laying here in bed, listening to him sleep(snore) soundly while I for the last 9 years have had insomnia. Worried about all the what if’s and what nexts. I surely couldn’t do it without support from my family and my friends I have at school keep me going on a daily basis. The friendships I have made will last a lifetime. I have enjoyed school for the most part but having been going for
So long, I find myself burnt out and wondering why I chose this field. I don’t know where the phrase came from that said,” well, if I can’t make it in “fill in the blank” I’ll just go to nursing school” what in the hell were they going for? Brain surgeon? This school isn’t a joke. It’s not JUST nursing school, this is freakin’ MED school. I’m so close to the finish line but still in the back of my head I am terrified to even make it out of school. What if I hurt someone? What if I give an incorrect medication or dont see that a patient is showing signs of a heart attack or stroke. The signs aren’t what you see on tv, not all people just grab their chest and fall out in the floor. What if I lose my license after all this work over a stupid careless mistake. I’m not even out of school and I have already done CPR on a patient. Want to talk about life changing! Wow. I can’t imagine doing that over and over again. I’m now at work, in my comfy seat where I know what I’m doing, I love my boss, my coworkers, my patients, the only thing missing is that paycheck I’m dreaming of. Is that why I want to be a nurse? Money? No. But it sure helps. I love people. I love talking to them, learning about their life, their family’s, their adventures. I just cant really imagine NOT being a nurse because I’ve done it so long. So I guess there’s my answer. I was meant to do this. I will do this. I am going to remind myself that I should be thankful for the wonderful things that have come from going to school. The work has been
And will be worth it. I’m doing this to make a difference in people’s lives. I pray God will give me strength and peace while going through this struggle and to use me as an instrument to encourage those around me who are burnt out as well. Thanks for reading and please keep your fingers crossed.

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REALLY?????

REALLY?????

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This is how I feel about studying for my research class:( (Taken with Instagram)

This is how I feel about studying for my research class:( (Taken with Instagram)

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This is how country folk do birthday parties in June:) My daughter turns 20 tomorrow and we asked what she wanted to do for her birthday party, she said,” The same thing I do every year. A friends and family pool party!” I love how loyal my daughter is to her friends and family. They are more important to her than anything else. So proud of who she has become and who she has always been. I couldn’t ask for a better daughter. She is and has always been my light, my love and my life. Happy birthday Katelyn. You’ll never know how much you mean to me. I don’t know how I was lucky enough for God to pick me to be your mom:)